Imposter Syndrome: When Success Feels Like Something You Have to “Get Away With”
Have you ever achieved something meaningful, a new job, a degree, a promotion, and instead of feeling proud, you felt a quiet sense of panic?
Almost like someone might tap you on the shoulder and say, “Hey… we made a mistake.”
If that feels familiar, you’re not alone. This experience has a name: imposter syndrome. And more importantly, it’s something we can gently begin to understand and shift.
What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter syndrome is the internal experience of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you to be. It’s the persistent sense that your success is accidental, fragile, or undeserved.
The term was first introduced by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes (1978), who noticed that many high-achieving individuals, especially women, struggled to internalize their accomplishments.
Since then, research has shown that this experience is incredibly common across genders, professions, and cultures. In fact, studies suggest that up to 70% of people will experience imposter feelings at some point in their lives (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011).
What does imposter syndrome actually feel like?
It often doesn’t show up loudly. It’s subtle, woven into your everyday thoughts:
You re-read an email five times before sending it, worried it sounds “off.”
You downplay your achievements in conversations: “It was nothing, really.”
You feel anxious when praised, almost like you’ve misled someone.
You overwork, not because you want to, but because you feel like you have to “earn your place.”
Imagine this:
You’ve just been hired for a role you worked hard for. On your first day, instead of excitement, your mind starts racing:
“Everyone here is smarter than me.”
“They’re going to realize I don’t belong.”
“I need to prove myself constantly.”
So, you stay late. You double-check everything. You hesitate to ask questions. Not because you don’t care, but because you care deeply, and you’re afraid of confirming a belief that you’re somehow not enough.
What’s it like to live with imposter syndrome?
Living with imposter syndrome can feel like being in a constant state of almost being exposed. There’s often a quiet disconnect:
Externally: capable, accomplished, “doing well”
Internally: anxious, doubtful, waiting for things to fall apart
You might notice:
Difficulty enjoying your achievements
Chronic self-doubt, even in areas of strength
Avoidance of opportunities that stretch you
Burnout from overcompensating
Over time, this can affect not just your work or studies, but also your relationship with yourself.
Who experiences imposter syndrome?
Short answer: almost anyone. But it tends to show up more strongly in certain contexts:
When you’re stepping into something new (e.g., a job, country, role, identity)
When you’re surrounded by high-performing peers
When you’ve been conditioned to tie your self-worth to achievement
When you feel different, like you don’t fully “fit” in a space
For example, many first and second-generation immigrants, newcomers, or those navigating different cultural spaces may carry an added layer of pressure: “I have to prove that I deserve to be here.”
Why does imposter syndrome happen?
Imposter syndrome is not a flaw; it’s often a learned pattern of self-protection. Some common roots include:
Early messages about self-worth
If love, praise, or validation were tied to achievement growing up, you may have learned: “I am only valuable when I succeed.”Perfectionism
When the standard is “I must not make mistakes”, anything less feels like failure, even when it’s normal.Comparison and environment
Being in competitive or high achieving environments can distort your perception of what is “normal” or “enough.”Internalized beliefs
Over time, experiences shape core beliefs like: “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t belong here”. Even when your life changes, those beliefs can stay, quietly influencing how you interpret everything.
How can you begin to shift it?
Not by forcing confidence, not by “thinking positive”, but by getting curious about your internal world. Here are some gentle starting points:
Notice the voice, don’t become it
Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try saying: “I’m noticing a part of me that feels like I’m not good enough”. This creates space between you and the thought.Get specific about the evidence
Think: What have you actually done to get here? What would you say to a friend in your position?Let things be “good enough”
Try completing something at 80% instead of 100%. Notice what happens, not what you fear will happen.Receive without deflecting
Next time someone says: “You did a great job”. Pause and breathe. Say: “Thank you”. Let it sit, even if it feels unfamiliar.Take action alongside doubt
Confidence is not a prerequisite; it’s often a byproduct of the work you put into yourself.
How can therapy help with imposter syndrome?
This is where you can do deeper work; not just managing the thoughts, but understanding where they come from. Let’s understand how different psychotherapeutic modalities can support you:
1. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT helps you identify and challenge unhelpful thinking patterns. For example:
Recognizing cognitive distortions like “discounting the positive”
Examining the evidence behind beliefs like “I don’t belong”
Practicing new behaviours that test these beliefs in real life
Research shows that CBT is highly effective in reducing anxiety, self-doubt, and maladaptive thinking patterns (Hofmann et al., 2012).
2. Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS is another modality that can also offer a more compassionate lens. Instead of trying to “fix” the imposter feeling, we get curious about it.
You might discover:
A critical part that pushes you to be perfect so you don’t get judged
A fearful part that worries about rejection or failure
A younger part that learned early on that you had to earn your worth
In IFS, these parts are not enemies, they are protectors. And therapy becomes a space where you can:
Understand why these parts exist
Soften the intensity of the inner critic
Build a more grounded, confident sense of self
There are other modalities that offer a different approach but leading towards the same ultimate goal.
What does therapy for imposter syndrome feel like?
It’s less about “fixing you” and more about coming into a different relationship with yourself. In therapy, you might:
Explore where your self-doubt began
Notice patterns in how you think, feel, and respond
Learn tools to regulate anxiety and self-criticism
Practice showing up more authentically, without overcompensating
Most importantly, therapy can offer something many people with imposter syndrome haven’t had enough of:
A space where you don’t have to prove anything.
A space where you are already enough.
How long does it take to work through imposter syndrome?
There’s no strict timeline. Some people notice small but meaningful shifts within a few sessions, like being able to catch the inner critic earlier, or feeling slightly less consumed by it.
Deeper patterns, especially those rooted in early experiences, take more time and care. But change doesn’t happen all at once, it happens in subtle moments:
The moment you speak up, even while doubting yourself
The moment you accept praise without deflecting
The moment you realize, “Maybe I’m not a fraud… maybe I’ve just been afraid.”
A gentle invitation
If any part of this resonates, you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
Imposter syndrome can make you feel like you have to earn your place, even in spaces meant to support you. But therapy is not something you need to “qualify” for. You’re allowed to come in exactly as you are: uncertain, curious, overwhelmed, questioning. Together, we can begin to understand the parts of you that learned to doubt, and help you build something steadier in their place. Not a loud, performative confidence. But a quieter, more grounded feeling: I belong here.
If you’ve been experiencing imposter syndrome and want a space to explore it more deeply, I’m Maidah – a practicum therapist here at a journey inward therapy – and I’m here to support you.
Feel free to book a free 15-min consultation to connect and see how therapy can help.
References
Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The imposter phenomenon in high achieving women: Dynamics and therapeutic intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice, 15(3), 241–247.
Hofmann, S. G., Asnaani, A., Vonk, I. J., Sawyer, A. T., & Fang, A. (2012). The Efficacy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: A Review of Meta-analyses. Cognitive Therapy Research, 36(5), 427-440.
Sakulku, J., & Alexander, J. (2011). The impostor phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6(1), 75–97.
